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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate, by Harriet Lerner

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Review

"Lerner's mass appeal results in.accessible and well-organized work that.belongs in all libraries Highly recommended." (Library Journal )"I love Hariet Lerner's work." (-Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies )

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From the Back Cover

In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when: We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable. We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate. We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior. We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation. We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line." We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly. Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

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Product details

Paperback: 270 pages

Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (August 6, 2002)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 006095616X

ISBN-13: 978-0060956165

Product Dimensions:

5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches

Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.4 out of 5 stars

148 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#16,761 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

I read The Dance of Anger many years ago. When I recently decided to work on personal boundary issues I turned to this book. Following some of the principles described in the book, I'm in the process of changing a dysfunctional relationship with my mother. I have efforts that result in good outcomes and then I revert back to my old self. This book has helped me to stick with it and to stay true to myself in my effort to change the way I relate. It's working. He next book I'll read is The Dance of Intimacy. Thanks for an insightful and thoughtful book.

I have enjoyed, and learned from, reading Lerner’s “Dance of....” books for over 20 years. She always posits interesting things to think of in terms of interpersonal communication. Sometimes I feel I need to have some of her “advice” tattooed on my arms and hands 😄.I like that she uses a lot of personal anecdotes although I know some find it off putting. But I like that I can have a silent conversation “No, do I really do that?...Yes, it might work better if I....”I always feel better after reading her books and that, for me, is huge.

I cant say enough good things about this book.. if you love your spouse, but still constantly find yourself butting heads with him/her.. read this book.. i read this book after "The dance of anger". Between these and the book "Five love languages" the atmosphere of my marriage is vastly more peaceful now!

Speedy delivery, exactly what I expected. I highly recommend this author for anyone looking for help with relationships or better understanding yourself. I have read nearly all of Harriet Lerner's books. I gleaned useful knowledge from every book.

I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking a deeper connection in relationships. Lerner provides great examples of how to find your voice and express it in a way that will be heard.

I found this book really helpful with understanding relationships and communication. My husband isn't one for self help books or counseling or anything like that so I tend to read a lot of this stuff on my own. This one was definitely easy to understand and made a lot of sense. I enjoyed it!

Great insight into our lives. Harriet is a fantastic writer and writes to all regarding your family, friends, relationships, and the basis of how you were raised, and how your parents' upbringing influenced how you are today. This book is one you should read over and over again. There is too much to take in with one pass. She gets it! Everyone will take something from this book - read it again in a couple of months and I am sure you will get another little gem of (oh! That is so why I do ________ (fill in blanks)) This is a keeper, and I would recommend it as gifts for all the people you love - NOT to change them, but for a deeper understanding of who they are, who their parents, grandparents, relatives, etc. are. This is NOT really a self-help book, more of an insightful guide to human nature, with Aha! moments sprinkled in. Quick, easy read, hard to put down.

Very insightful book on connections and how to heal our past perceptions and finding courage to make the bridge.

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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate, by Harriet Lerner PDF

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate, by Harriet Lerner PDF